Swap

Swap

Unpacking the goods I had stored for the year I traveled, I realized a few things.

·       While I tried very hard to only keep things I liked and were important to me, there was still a lot of junk.

·       Trying to fit things from one home into another space rarely works out well.  Carpets are too big or too small, couches don’t fit, etc.  Virtually all the furniture I brought in the UHaul ended up on Craiglist.  Not that there was a ton of it, but still…. 

One of the things I did right off the bat was organize a girls swap.  I had done the same back in Seattle, but less regularly.  Now, every quarter a gang of us get together, drink wine, and trade clothing, shoes, etc.  Looking in my closet, I can say honestly I have bought less than 1/3 of what is in there.  And because swapping is “free”, if something doesn’t actually work it’s easy to throw it back in the bin to be swapped again.  There was no investment.  How many of us keep things because they are “good” or were expensive, even as we pass them over week after week and never wear them?  I haven’t tried the hanger technique (flip them all around on New Year’s Day and turn them back only once you’ve worn the garment).  But maybe I will as winter sets in….

Living in a Small Space

Since Brian and I moved in together, there has been the usual mingling of household goods.  Furniture got changed.  A television and stereo were added to the home.  The kitchen actually got food in it.

However, with limited storage space I am spending time here and there weeding through my worldly goods.  One of the obvious bulky items – photo albums and loose photos and slides and negatives.  I shipped them all off to:

http://www.scanmyphotos.com/

Threw away a ton of originals. Made copies of the disks for my brother, cousin, etc.  Saved backups in three places.  Called it good.

Getting Older

I’ve been thinking about minimalism, getting older, paring down, and maybe something more like “essentialism”. 

My life has changed dramatically following my 40^th birthday, but primarily in external ways.  I realized this spring that I have changed in the past 4 years:

My name

My address

My phone number

My email address

My workplace

I’ve also been making other, still external but less observable alterations.  All of which, surprisingly, took some consideration. 

1.     I stopped wearing perfume when I discovered I get contact dermatitis – small itchy bumps – from spraying it on.  I love scent.  It connects me to memories and is a subtle daily boost.  But I really don’t like itching.  I did try some organic scents.  Most are only available online, so expensive experimenting led me to very few scents I really wanted to use.  I’ve mostly given up.

2.     I started wearing eye cream.  I don’t do a ton when it comes to beauty products, but that seemed like an easy one.  Small container, slap on once a day.  I am judged by my grooming in my workplace, so there are several things I do now that I look forward to tossing when I hit retirement.

3.     I threw away all my uncomfortable underwear.  By uncomfortable, I mean thong.  This isn’t a diss.  I know many women for whom thong is great.  It has a lot to do with the shape of your hips and your tush.  Really doesn’t work for me.  If someone sees my panty line, it’s not going to kill them.

4.     I determined to not buy any more high heels.  I am slowly weeding the ones I own from my closet.  A few I plan to sell online (hello Fluevog shop!).  But ultimately, I want the freedom to walk anywhere.  I live in an area with a lot of ice.  Heels just don’t make sense to most of my lifestyle. 

Yet More Minimalism

http://theutopianlife.com/2015/11/13/5-minimalist-habits-for-a-more-efficient-lifestyle/

McNeil River

It seems hyperbolic to call this the trip of a lifetime, after having spent so much time in so many wonderful places.  Suffice to say, this one was a standout.

B. and I entered the lottery in January while getting fishing licenses.  As detailed on the website, the lottery it for a small number of permits to travel to and stay in the sanctuary.  The permit itself is quite inexpensive.  The cost comes from the flight there – over an hour across the Cook Inlet from Homer, past Mt. Augustine. 

http://www.adfg.alaska.gov/index.cfm?adfg=viewinglocations.mcneilriver

We didn’t win the lottery, but were waitlisted.  Surprisingly, we were notified that we could fill two open slots in May, during the first week guests are permitted (6/7-6-10).  It seems that these are less popular, on the assumption that the bears aren’t out.  Au contraire!  The bears aren’t on the McNeil River proper.  Rather, they are happily chasing the early red salmon run on the smaller Mikfik Creek.

 

We were joined by five more bear watchers and two staff, down from their usual three staff.  Budget cuts.  Three of our troupe had been to the refuge before, and had lots of good advice.  I really appreciated the way people pulled together.  Rather than trying to juggle around doing everything solo, all the guests shared in cooking, cleaning, hauling water from the creek, purifying the water, and starting up the wood burning stove in the cook shack.  Really, it was quite plush.  The wood burning sauna was a huge treat in the evenings, and the only version of a bath we had.

But we were here for the bears.  Oh my the bears!  And the fish, the bald eagles, the fox, and the wolf.

It’s amazing how hundreds of pounds of mammal can just disappear in the sedge flats.  Then two little fuzzy ears will pop up – right where you would have sworn there was no bear.  And how little interest in humans these bears take.  The Refuge is just that, and these bears do not associate humans with food, hunting, or any other activities.  They just ignore us.  We sat on a gravel bar in Mikfik creek, with bears crossing on either side of us as the fished for the reds.  Thy passed within 50 feet.  It was astonishing and amazing.

Also discovered that my tent can withstand 40 mph sustained winds.  Thanks Pam!

 

 

 

Conversations with Friends about Clothing

Since coming back to the US and taking up a full-time job (plus a condo!), it's been an adjustment to try to hang on to the ideas I love, while shedding objects.  The desire to live lightly is strong.  But I find that having to have "office appropriate" clothing is pretty different from travel appropriate clothing.  One of the ways I've worked to find a balance between needs/wants/minimalism was to institute a quarterly swap (aka Naked Lady Party).  No money gets exchanged.  Everyone comes, brings their still good but not currently used goods, and trades for ones that might be used.  We started with clothes, but it's progressed to shoes, accessories, books, housewares....  It's fun and wonderful.  Plus we eat and drink and enjoy the company.  It led to the following email exchange:

V: I think I’m going to throw in the towel when it comes to heels. Ultimately, I like the idea of them a lot, but I’m not at ease in them, they make my calves tight (which is already a battle for me to prevent plantar fasciitis from coming back), most are painful, and I’m too hard on my shoes to justify spending a lot of money on comfortable but ultimately still delicate shoes. The ideal shoe for me is one that gets better with “character” aka creasing and scuffing.

I’ve only worn the denim & pink bow heels once (in the office, the day you gave them to me and I said, “of course I’ll wear these all the time!”). Would you like to give them back to your friend so she can sell them?

I’m going to chuck the rest of my heels into the box for the next swap. I’d try to sell them, but wait, they’re already too damaged.

L: Someone might want them at the swap, so toss them in there!  I totally understand btw – making life easier for yourself is wonderful.  It’s one of the reasons I like rummaging through closets.  Less stuff = less decision making = only keep what really works.  Etc, etc.

http://helloimnadia.com/post/61605892456/why-i-wore-the-same-outfit-every-day-for-a-year

V: I really really really really liked that blog post.

My lingering questions are:

1. Is she a not-smelly person?
2. Is she a not-spilly person?  

Because I am a smelly person and a spilly person. I would love to pare my wardrobe down to 7 outfits, but not one. I like being able to do a full load of laundry at a time. It feels inefficient (water, energy, time) to do half loads.

I probably have about 30 outfits, and I only like 2 of them. Maybe it’s time to figure out 5 more that I actually like and get rid of the remaining 23-28.  And you know what a lot of those outfits would have? Properly fitting cardigans!!!!

That would be awesome, to have 7 outfits I like, and get rid of all the rest of the stuff in my closet that I feel like I should like but don’t actually feel comfortable in.

L: That’s why I think that method doesn’t work.  One of my favorite items which I could easily wear 3-4 days a week is a plum colored dress.  Great fabric, good length, just right for transitional use (work/play).  But I bought it at a thrift store.  It’s from a known brand, so I looked online to see if I could get more.  They don’t have them.  Damn the fast fashion craze!  

And yes, you really do have to wear it a while to see how the fit works, if the fabric scratches, etc.  It does make you a lot more stringent in the dressing room.  If it isn’t perfect – no go.  I’ve stopped buying online because I’m so often disappointed.

I’ve discovered how jealous I am of B.  He can wear jeans to work so he literally has three pair of pants.  Envy.

 

 

More Minimalism

I've been reading more minimalist blogs, and particularly enjoyed this post:

http://www.theminimalists.com/walk-away/

 

Inevitability

Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.  –Anne Frank

 

I have been thinking about death a bit lately.  That’s not unusual.  I work as an archaeologist.  The dead have a lot to do with how I pay my bills.  The remnants of the dead I typically encounter are garbage dumps of some sort or another.  So when I think about minimalism, being environmentally conscious and all the assorted pieces of my carbon footprint – well, it’s all tied together. 

When the mantra is quality over quantity, it does make you consider time as an element in that.  This essay struck me as being remarkably clear-eyed on the topic:

 

http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/09/why-i-hope-to-die-at-75/379329/

 

Recently, the parents of two friends have died.  A.’s father died quickly of a heart attack.  R.’s mother spent the last year of her life hospitalized.  In one case, there has been a complete lack of public announcement.  I’m left a little befuddled by this.  On a practical level I can see the reasoning that newspapers are rarely read, obituary space must be purchased, etc.  But there were no mentions through other media either.  The death wasn’t mentioned for five months.

 

I want to respect the choice to mourn privately.  But privately isn’t the same as denying others their grief.  Our parents have lives beyond us.  Before us, during us, after us.  I can’t even count the people I have met in my life, or what impact I have had on theirs.  As an insightful Facebook poster said, “Someone’s therapist knows everything about you.”  The lack of a public announcement seems to suggest a indifference for community.  And yes, we are a notoriously mobile generation and nation.  But A., his mother, and the family have lived in the same place for 30+ years.  B. lives several states from where his parents reside (his childhood home), but returns regularly.  Geography doesn’t negate loss.

 

I’m not putting this on A. by the way.  Their parents left behind a spouse.  He is not an only child.  There are extended family. 

 

So many of the people I know were either raised without the rituals of religion, or have fallen away from them.  That has left us without much guidance on grief.  (Not that religion always had a monopoly.  My background in anthropology could lead me to hours of writing on this.)  Without a secular option to turn to, we’re left with manners, which don’t tell us much.

 

We should not be pushing into the family’s grief, we should be respectful. 

 

But we can’t be respectful if we don’t know.  We think it’s distasteful to post a death notice on Facebook?  I keep getting a friend suggestion for a man who died last year.  I have people on my “Friends” list who are dead.  Facebook has developed a way to switch pages to “Memorialized”.  I’m not saying that’s the way to go.  But if a publicly traded company had to come up with a way to treat dead clients, it means there is a need.