San Francisco maudlin

You have had quite a few pictographic posts lately.  Time for a wordy one.  My father, during our weekly Skype sessions, keeps asking the same questions: how do you know so many people?  How do you have so many friends?  Why do they all let you stay with them??

There really isn’t a simple answer to that.  But here’s a stab at it.  I like people.  Not all of them, of course.  But lots of them.  People are nice.  I have been insanely lucky to meet so many nice people.  They are willing to show you how nice they are.  My aunt Diana gave me an interesting signpost earlier this year with the saying, “selfishness comes from scarcity”.  Most of the people I know are perfectly happy to share a meal or a bed.  They have that to share.  And often more.  People want to be helpful.  Even if it’s only by giving directions.  Accepting what people have to offer is a gift in and of itself.

Take today for example.  I am staying with Adam and Hilary in San Francisco.  I met A & H in college.  We’ve been friends ever since.  We have visited with each other at least once a year since school.  When I came to visit last year they had bought me my own pillow.  My own pillow.  Like friends Dan, and Lindsey, A & H subscribe to the wood-block-as-pillow school.  I am a smooshy-feather-barely-there aficionado.  So they decided to make me feel even more welcome in their home, and bought me a pillow of my own.  That said, I think Adam is partially converted to my style of pillow.  But that’s quite a welcome, you must admit.

I got up today and headed to the De Young Museum.  Tickets at the De Young are $26, so I hadn’t planed to visit this museum initially.  But while in Ashland I stayed at the Pelton House Bed and Breakfast.  The breakfast (delicious) was served communally, and I sat at a table with three couples.  Chatting over our meal I told them I was traveling south to San Francisco and one lady, Fern, told me she is the docent coordinator at the museum.  She called the museum and had a free ticket set aside for me.   Really.  I just went to the member services desk and there it was.  Amazing generosity.

Since I was going to the museum, I invited Jen A. to join me.  Jen and I met in high school in Alaska.  We lost touch for many years, reconnected in Seattle (briefly) then missed again.  We caught up with each other yesterday.  My Facebook friend rule: if you were coming to my town, would I change plans to have dinner with you?  If yes, we can be friends.  So as I travel about the world, I call people to have a meal.  Jen responded and we spent yesterday in the Exploratorium and Ferry Building.  Then decided we liked each other enough to spent more time together today.  We had a great time.  Years don’t matter.

Then I met up with Alice P.  I haven’t seen Alice since college.  I thought she was great, and we wound up with some overlapping study areas (archaeology, tho' she did work in Syria and Egype while I mainly did Phys Anth and North America).  We haven’t seen each other since the mid-90s.  But we met for dinner.  And it rocked.  She is still great.  Connections don’t die.  Sometimes they just hibernate a bit – and Alice didn’t mind me teasing her about being part Grizzly Bear.

Tomorrow I’m off to the Museum of Ophthalmology with Dan (http://www.museumofvision.org/).  Dan and I met at summer camp when we were 13.  The plan for tomorrow is eye, and pie.

So to answer the questions: how do I know so many people?  From high school.  From summer camp.  From college.  From the shared table at a B&B.  From meetings on buses.  From the park.  From dance class.  From the library.  From so many different places.  Yes, some people want more than you wish to give.  But most people mean you no harm.  Living fearlessly, albeit wisely, is the life I am aiming for.

How do I have so many friends?  I have no idea.  I like people.  I like talking to them.  Everyone, with a few exceptions, has something interesting to share.  I like learning their stories.  I say thank you a lot. 

Why do they let me stay with them??  I try to be a good houseguest.  I always offer to strip the sheets and towels and put them in the washer.  I bring a bottle of wine.  I don’t stay too long.  I help out with chores.  While in Portland I cleaned out Melinda’s closet.  I repaired several garments.  I sewed on buttons.  I liked doing it.

Ultimately, I am lucky.  I am lucky to know so many nice people.  People to stay with.  To share a meal with.  People to spend time with.  People I owe a thank you note, that will be written when I once again have an address of my own.  But in the meantime, thanks to you all for being wonderful.

Oh, and Dad?  Thanks for answering the phone/computer when I call.  For trusting me when I decided to study archaeology.  For thinking my sabbatical plan was nuts, and still supporting me.  And for giving me a great foundation to understand what friendship is.  

xo